A Dream from Our Second Fateful Night at the Downtowner Motel, Houghton, Mich.

taking math test at parents' home co-written by [HIGH SCHOOL MATH TEACHER] and [COLLEAGUE]. test is over 5 pages long, does not include space for working problems, and includes a disturbing array of impossible factoring probelms. i attempt one at random and find that it includes the numbers 2 and 5 and no common variables and therefore cannot be factored further. i realize that my teachers must therefore have SOME WAY THAT THEY WANT ME TO EXPRESS MYSELF THAT IS MATHEMATICALLY IMPOSSIBLE AND MAKES NO FUCKING SENSE and that the test is completely unfair. i think about telling my mother to complain to my teachers. somehow i call in sick to taking the exam in a classroom and am told i can take it at home. i eat and masturbate instead, but i still for some reason am nervous about the test that means nothing to me. i am attempting to understand the reason for my nervousness when i wake up.

redeye dreams/other

When I finally slept I dreamt that I had a street map of a city I had just visited tattooed on both forearms. There was a buzzing, slight pain in my skin but it looked worth it. Then, I was driving and under assault from a superzombie. As the superzombie clung to the vehicle, I slammed it into walls and pillars and other cars and my car was dented by the uninjured zombie. It turned out that the zombie was actually the father of some anonymous male companion. I had to help him fight his alternatingly living and undead dad, who turned out to be the captain of a small coastal oil tanker. We plotted and planned on the deck of the tanker, but the man who emerged from the cabins before I awoke was not a zombie but a father.

Also, I wish that I:

• were eating fresh brownies with milk
  
• were not physically and mentally exhausted (feels like having a fever)
  
• spent less time in front of laptop screens trying to communicate with people I can't see
  
• had a functioning girlfriend
  
• were not a tourist in my own body and mind.