Wednesday, February 28, 2007

8:38-8:41

I can feel myself getting dumber as I sit here. Whatever creative energy I have left after the traditional workday has been replaced with a slight headache. A numbing pain has spread across my ass, which has spent three of the last four hours in the same airport seat, and which can look forward to at least four more hours of sitting before being put to rest in a Holiday Inn Express in suburban Houston. See headline immediately below.

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No intelligent person should have to do this.

Last week, while traveling from Dallas to Boston, I ended up in a prostitute-laden motel in suburban Philly. Thanks, US Airways.

Now, it's Air Canada's turn. It is 8:02 pm. I'm waiting to take a 3.5 hour flight from Toronto to Houston and then do more work in the morning, followed by more work, and then followed by additional work. The plane was supposed to leave at 7:20. We got on the plane at 7, but the pilots never did. So we got kicked off the plane. Our hand luggage was also kicked off the plane, and we got to carry it off. The plane is supposed to leave at 8:40. It is now 8:04. So, using standard rules, boarding should start again in 6 minutes, 12 minutes after we got off the plane.

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Tuesday, February 27, 2007

Complete List of Pornographic Videos Available at the Holiday Inn Hotel & Conference Center, Kitchener, Ontario

Ahem, ahem. This is way more than I planned to type before passing out. There is some Actual Content at the other end of this list.

New Releases

  • Rocco Ravishes Russia
  • Please Cum Inside Me 10
  • Super Natural 4
  • Chicks With Big Tits
  • Vivid's Nurses Gone Wild
  • Tongue N Cheek
  • Colt's Big N Plenty (Gay)
  • Falcon's THE HUNTED (Gay)


SUPERSTARS

  • Boob Bangers
  • Buttman's Bend Over Brazilian Babes 4
  • Rogue Adventures 25 (Transvestites)
  • FISHNETS Four
  • Gang Up
  • SHANE Diesel's In My Ass
  • Girls Love Girls
  • Bet Your Ass 2
  • Inside the Pink Door
  • Vivid's Best Girls: Ginger 2 Jenna
  • Ass Cleavage
  • Just Over 18 No. 14
  • FRESH ASSES
  • DIRTY LITTLE VIXENS
  • PERFECT SPECIMENS
  • Janine and the EMPEROR
  • TERADISE ISLAND ANAL FEVER
  • MILF NEXT DOOR
  • Just Fuckin
  • Liquid
  • Hi-Teen Club 8
  • Wonderland
  • Teanna Takes Cock
  • Six in Me
  • Ass Intake
  • My Ass is Haunted
  • 13 Cum Hungry Cocksuckers 3
  • I Like Them Young 2
  • Naughty Schoolgirls
  • Who's the New Girl?
  • Three for ALL
  • White Wife Black Cock
  • Angels of Debauchery 2
  • Pamela Principle
  • Teamplayer
  • Supercocks Do Anal
  • My Ass N Make Me
  • Pleasures of the Flesh 03
  • The Fashionistas
  • Vivid's Best Scenes
  • Janine's BLACKMAILED
  • Vivid's Hottest Lesbians
  • Sexxx the Hard Way
  • Slam it in Deeper
  • Syrens of Sex
  • Nailed with CUM
  • Swank Pure ANAL
  • Craving Big Cocks
  • Here Cum the Brides
  • Blow Me
  • Big Cock's in Her Little Box
  • Two Dicks in One Chick 2006
  • Award Winning Sex 2006


Gay
  • Colt's Minute Man
  • Falcon's Drenched Part One
  • Falcon's Super Soaked
  • Falcon's Born To Be Bad
  • BUCKAROOS Part Two
  • Colt's The Leather Files
  • Falcon's Man Made
  • Falcon's Bounce
  • Colt's RELOAD
  • BUCKAROOS Part One
  • Falcon's BOOTSTRAP
  • Falcon's Crosscountry Part One


Exotic
  • Chest Full of Asians Part 2
  • Pretty Little Asians Part Four


Sheesh. Apparently Canadians demand variety.

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Monday, February 26, 2007

Mainstream media on the destruction of Williamsburg: at Verb Cafe, "It's like lunchtime at Oberlin College."

Matt sends us a link to this incredibly solid article on the death of Williamsburg--from the Washington Post. When I got out of B-burg three years ago, it was like the glowing embers of condoization had just reached new supplies of air and fuel. What the article doesn't point out is that the condo boom was fueled by (if not started by) Hasidim and Poles (etc) trying to make a buck off the newfound hipness of their ghetto.

I loved the Verb Cafe comment; when I doodled there I could always find a seat. But my dad would liken any neighborhood where people go out of the loft in pajamas all weekend to the "fake world" of college. I would have to agree with him there.

The Village and Williamsburg have proven that New York is not invincible. When the coolest neighborhoods are sanitized and turned into playgrounds for the super-rich, I fear for my home. I fear even more for the talented and intelligent youth who now have nowhere cool to hang out--the village lasted decades before being turned into condos. Billyburg only lasted five years.

We gave what Dan Meade calls the "Upper Frat Side" the cold shoulder for decades (even while he and I went to high school there). But now the rich frat boys are coming down from their towers and colonizing more of the city. What neighborhood will they price us out of next? How will a smart kid who's not rich experience the city if there's nothing to experience?

And when and if I return from exile, how will I go about living in a real neighborhood? College Point just started looking really good.

---------------
I'll continue to ponder the role of the artist in reviving and ruining cities. This article makes that process seem even more obvious.

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Sunday, February 25, 2007

This Sunday at CD Spins

Haven't listened to either yet, but they should both be awesome.

Finding the flaws in the New York Times's reporting on New York ruining itself

Someone named Abigail A. Frankfurt has a necessarily cute piece in the Times's The City section today, in which she decries how hipster gentrification destroyed her neighborhood in Brooklyn. I was with her right up until the end, when she claimed to be a "native New Yorker" and stated that
I solemnly said farewell to New York and decided I would not return until I could come back to Manhattan, which meant until I prospered.

This sounded curiously like a midwesterner's fantasy of New York. So I looked up Abigail A. Frankfurt on Friendster. Hometown: Long Island, NY.

A reminder that the Times is written by and for the transplants, and owned by a large real estate concern.

Saturday, February 24, 2007

I'll fucking cut you.

This has truly been a life-alteringly horrible week. And I don't care whose fault. Airlines, hotels, cabbies, employer, computers, intestines, pricks, etc. A change is gonna come.

Friday, February 23, 2007

Non-optimized-->optimization-->Optimized

Wednesday, February 21, 2007

Ten Years

Just got a marketing email from Delta Air Lines, "celebrating" ten years of Delta.com. In May, this site will also have been around in one form or another for a decade. People keep reading it! Thanks!

Tuesday, February 20, 2007

Downtown Dallas

is a suburban mom's nightmare of a city. Some of downtown is really old, and you can tell that people used to walk around those parts. Some of downtown is really new, where people are supposed to walk but don't. All things of intermediate age heed the dominance of the auto. Most buildings, whether for cars or for people, look like they were designed by a 3 year old with a pencil, a ruler, and an obsessive compulsion for RIGHT ANGLES. Everything is not congruous. It is here by accident. Outside I hear a street sweeper and many buses. But this is still one of those second-rate cities where only poor people are supposed to ride the buses. There is a strange, tomblike charm here, waiting to be explored. However, it would probably serve the world better if downtown Dallas grew up.

SO SAITH THE CHARLOTTE DOUGLAS INTL AIRPORT WIFI

"Mike has posted a new comment about you on MySpace," BUT:

"This site is blocked by the SonicWALL Content Filter Service.

URL: http://collect.myspace.com/reloc.cfm?c=7&friendID=28825275&MyToken=b1843057-2956-49da-a49b-dec97db98...

Reason for restriction: Forbidden Category "Adult/Mature Content":

NOW IN:

Winston-Salem. Went to Little Richard's last night, a Lexington style joint.

Friday, February 16, 2007

Taking a Sh-- an the University of M----

  • Attempt 1. Proceed to poolside bathroom. Three stalls. Two covered in 1" of yellowish fluid. Black male occupies 3rd stall.
  • Attempt 2. Proceed to campus center bathroom. I follow another male through the restroom door. He immediately claims the one stall.
  • Attempt 3. Proceed to Library. Learn that only students with IDs can enter turnstiles.
  • Attempt 4. Return to poolside restroom. Two stalls still covered by piss. Black male still defecating in No. 3.
  • Attempt 5. Return to campus center single-staller. Inside stall, male with black leather shoes is pacing in front of bowl. Male begins tiling over the floor with squares of waxed paper from toilet seat cover box. When male has covered the floor around the toilet with waxed paper, he sits down.
  • Attempt 6. Business school library. Single-staller, occupied.
  • Attempt 7. Take elevator one floor up to suite directly above restroom in Attempt 6. Only offices there. Secretary asks me what I'm doing, and I leave.
  • Attempt 8. Nice bathroom, second floor of b-school. Despite two open urinals and no one else in restroom, male MBA student in suit with no tie is pissing in single stall. When he leaves, bowl is full of piss and seat covered by piss.
  • Attempt 9. Return to b-school library bathroom. Stall is vacant.

Total elapsed search time: 31 minutes.

And then two people desperately tried to enter my stall as I took care of business.

Tuesday, February 13, 2007

Complete List of Pornographic Movies Available at the Holiday Inn Express in Plantation, FL (including genre, when specified)


  • Aphrodisiac
  • Another Man's Wife
  • Super Compilation
  • Farmers' Daughters
  • Teacher Teach Me
  • Older is Better (Older Women)
  • Bi Guys
  • Cheating Neighbors (Voyeur)
  • Bi-Sex Swingers
  • Outrageous Orgies
  • The Visitors
  • Taken
  • Lovers' Guide: Sexual Positions (Instructional)
  • Barely Legal Corrupted #7
  • I Laid Your Hot Mom (Older Women)
  • Just Filthy Sex (Gonzo)
  • Driver (Gay)
  • Naughty Moms (MILTF/POV)
  • Black Orgies (All Orgies)
  • Forbidden Coeds/Young Butts (Double Feature)
  • 3 Way Divas (All Threesomes 8 Sex Scenes)
  • Innocence
  • Drenched (All Gay/Conoisseur)
  • The New Devil in Miss Jones
  • To Die For (Full Plot)
  • Cheating Wives (Adultery)
  • Test Drive
  • Satisfaction Guaranteed
  • Do My Slutty Wife
  • Rod Riders (Gonzo)
  • More Sex With My Sister's Hot Friends
  • Tokyo Teens (All Japanese)
  • Sexmates of My Wife (Swinger Wives)
  • Young and Tight (Non-Stop Sex)
  • Housewives Unleashed (Reality Sex)
  • Velvet Thrust (Just For Women)
  • Good as Gold (Gay Alternative)
  • Open House (All Gay)
  • Bi-Sexual Escapades
  • Explicit Sex
  • Xtra Filthy Sex (Wall-to-Wall)

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Sunday, February 11, 2007

Overheard on 88 bus, Friday evening.

"I mix Heineken with vodka. BAD mix, nigga! That shit FUCKED up my stomach! BAD mix, nigga! Not gonna mix that again."

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Saturday, February 10, 2007

Psycho Optician

This CNN video from Toronto is hilarious.

Friday, February 09, 2007

Oh, the places you'll go.

Herewith the list of places I (we?) will be visiting for the purposes of Business Travel, in no particular order:

Denver, New Orleans, Central PA, Miami, Greensboro (NC), Dallas, Houston, Austin, Salt Lake City, Toronto, San Francisco, Atlanta, Indianapolis, Central VA, New York, Worcester, and more!

What should I do?

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Thursday, February 08, 2007

Digital Replacement Options

Need a good, cheap cam that runs on AA batteries to keep in my pocket.

The new contenders, in order of price:
Kodak dual-lens V570

HP M527

Kodak El Cheapo C533

What the hook gon be? There's also a lot of used junk on ebay. For the record, this will be rb digicam No. 6.

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The last image my HP cam created before vanishing without a trace.

Blue marbe riding the Blue Line under Boston Harbor, Jan 30, 2007.

Wednesday, February 07, 2007

Know Your Rights (guerilla markerting/street art edition)

One more Mass-bashing article before breakfast.

Marquette University Assistant Professor of Law Scott Moss has a great opinion piece on FindLaw about Boston's attempt to incarcerate the guys who put up lite brites a few weeks ago.

Aside from proving why the attorney general's charges would never hold up in court, he concludes that "the Boston Two are victims of one of the darkest possibilities in our criminal justice system: prosecution as political persecution, when politicians and police need a scapegoat for their own failures"

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Doing business in Boston is as easy as ripping your own heart out with your bare hands.

Cost of Aqua Teen Hunger Farce in Boston, versus unexpected costs incurred by Turner Broadcasting in major American cities:

Austin $0
Atlanta $0
Boston $2m
Chicago $0
Los Angeles $0
New York $0
Philadelphia $0
Portland $0
San Francisco $0
Seattle $0

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Globe Reports on Cost of State Police Cruiser Details; Many Wheels Continue to Get Greased

We all know how much I like to point out the horrendous contempt for taxpayers Massachusetts displays, particularly by forcing us to pay cops $40 an hour to stand outside of open manholes and read the Herald at road work sites.

Last month, the Phoenix cited a Suffolk University/Beacon Hill Institute paper that reported that municipal police departments took in $67 million in detail pay.

Curiously, figures were not available for the State Police. Today, the Globe devotes an entire article to the outrageous salary inflation details provide State Troopers, without ever mentioning how much money the State Police removes from our pockets.

What the Globe does admit, however, is that Mass is the only state in the nation to require State Police details. One interviewee calls them "a political sacred cow."

The Globe article quotes another Beacon Hill Institute paper estimating that state and municipal forces took in $93.3 million dollars in detail pay in 2003.

Before writing my next two Mass-questioning posts, my favorite lines of the Globe article:

A 2004 study by Suffolk University's Beacon Hill Institute, examined data from details at construction sites in 103 cities and towns and found that the state has the worst accident rate in the country measured by property damage and the second worst measured by bodily injury.

But, the study excluded State Police details, because the agency said it could not produce necessary records for less than $5,800

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A great read on the MBTA Greenbush Project.

Our beloved MBTA has spent over $500m on a rail line out to some tony suburbs. The line will generate less than 2000 (some say 8,000...) riders a day, and feed them into crumbling downtown transit infrastructure.

Big Dig megacontractor Jay Cashman built the line together with the British firm Balfour Beatty. Operation of the line will be the duty of the "MBTA Annex," or MBCR, a corporation of former/retired MBTA bigwigs and their French and Canadian partners in collusion. Their private company has a $1.07b (billion), five-year contract to run the state commuter rail for the state.

BadTransit has a great article about what may have gone wrong here, and who's going to pay for it.

ADDENDUM: Note that the state was required to build this line to offset pollution from expanding I-93 (the big dig). But other required projects--like the extension of the Green Line, a project that would attract and benefit 15-20,000 riders per day--have not even been designed.

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Monday, February 05, 2007

Boston blogs

My horror story about the 90 bus (below) is on both BadTransit and Charlie on the MBTA today.

PUNCHING SELF IN FACE/FORCED REPLACEMENT OF HP POINT & SHOOT

Less than one week after extolling the simple virtues of my HP point-and-shoot digital camera, it disappears from my coat pocket on a 15-degree night. I didn't hear it hit the pavement. I didn't hear it fall out on the 88 bus. No one saw it on the Tufts shuttle (Ed always give me a ride to Davis if he sees me walking).

So it's gone. I tried calling the MBTA lost & found. Last night, I spent 40 minutes trying to find the same bus I was on. I eventually met a friendly driver on a different unit who offered me a free ride to a spot where I'd be more likely to see the bus I'd been on, but by that point I had turned purple and almost passed out.

SO I'M GOING BACK TO FILM.

I found this fixed-focus 35mm Samsung piece of shit in my guitar bag, and I'm gonna go buy it some 35mm stuff to burn through. Expired film would be best, but I'll just have to keep settling.

"When a city is brought to its knees by a Lite-Brite, I fear for our culture"

Read Jeffrey Weiss's editorial on the instantly infamous national media/Boston City Hall Aqua Teen Campaign of Fear. From the Dallas Morning News

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Sunday, February 04, 2007

The MBTA's "service optional" service strikes again.

It was Saturday night, and I was having a hard time mashing potatoes with a meat tenderizer. So I decided to go to the shiny Kmart in Assembly Sqaure and get a real masher.

Now, I work from home and choose not to to own a car. That shouldn't be a problem, because the MBTA's No. 90 bus literally runs door to door, from my home to the shops at Assembly Square. The beleaguered agency's $466,000 new website announce that on this Saturday evening, the 90 bus would pick me up outside my home at about 7:35pm and then retrieve me from Kmart at about 9:05.

Nope. Even though the 90 runs across Somerville (the most densely populated city in New England, with almost 80,000 residents on four square miles), to the Sullivan Square transit hub, to the shops at Assembly Sqaure, to the Wellington transit hub, it only runs once an hour on Saturdays. It doesn't run at all on Sunday. And even when it's supposed to run, it doesn't run. So whether you're one of the hundreds who work in the big boxes or a normal person who works on weekdays and shops on weekends, you can't get there from here. Sorry, buy a car.

When I saw the schedule last night, I thought I was experiencing a rare case of luck. I went outside at 7:30. The bus came by, at 7:43, going the wrong direction. I waited another twelve minutes for the bus to go to Davis Square, turn around, and come back. It was about 20 minutes late, but I could live with that. Sure, it was 30 degrees out, but like a first-class citizen of America, I was basking in the glow from a Dunkin Donuts and reading American Psycho.

The bus driver was a friendly, young woman who admitted she was running really late. Since there were only a half-dozen patrons for the time I was on board, I got to the store quickly. I found all the junk I needed at Kmart. Bike pump, sheets, picture frames, and even a potato masher. I went outside at 9:10, just in time to see the bus going by in the other direction. By the bus driver's own admission, the bus should have been back through in ten minutes--after turning at Wellington. The temperature was dropping fast, and naturally, I was the only person at the bus stop.

After a half-hour of waiting for the bus to come back, I called a cab. The bus should have been there at 9:05. The cab came at 9:45. Just before it arrived, the parking lot security guy who had passed me a half-dozen times stopped his SUV to tell me that he didn't think any more buses would be coming.

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The MBTA likes to suggest that low demand is the reason why buses run so infrequently on weekends. However, in my home neighborhood in New York City, the MTA proved the opposite case: if you build it, they will come. Retailers learned this decades ago, but the MBTA can't understand it.

When the College Point Retail Complex opened in eastern Queens, there were no nearby bus routes, just parking lots. The MTA created a new bus route, the Q20A, offering service every 10-20 minutes on Saturdays and Sundays as well as a direct connection to the Number 7 train. For those not living on the subway, the MTA also extended the extant Q76 bus to terminate at the retail center. Now, two buses provide seven-day service to both workers and shoppers. They are always packed to the gills, providing the MTA with even more operating revenue.

By comparison, Somerville's shops at Assembly Square have hourly bus service from 7a-10p on Saturdays (theoretically), but no service at all on Sundays.

Just about a mile away in Everett, the Gateway Center, which closely resembles the College Point development, receives hourly service from the No. 97 bus from 10a-7p on weekends. How could any working stiff depend on that?

----
The MBTA doesn't even claim to offer frequent or sufficient weekend service. But the truly sad part is that it can't even deliver the paltry services it promises. There is plenty of evidence about weekend bus problems plaguing shoppers south of downtown Boston, too.

It really bothers me how much a potentially great city (or collection of cities) is held back by its inferior transit system. I can buy a car or get out, and I think I'm going to get out.

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Saturday, February 03, 2007

Kicking Self.

A few months ago, I threw out three rolls of four-years-past-expired Konica 35mm film.

And then I hear about this.

Three years ago, before Flickr existed and during my alcoholic editorial assistant days, a clerk in a shitty Brooklyn pharmacy handed me a 4-pack of expired film from behind the counter. I showed her the expiration date, and she sold it to me for half off. I thought it would be cool to give expired film a spin, without the internet having told me it would be. So I shot one roll with a cheap 35mm camera , and it yielded a few disturbing/awesome results. My favorites were a splattered pigeon I found in the shadow of the Williamsburg bridge and the shadow of a bronzed, hanging dog outside of P.S. 1. I'll scan and Flickr them as soon as I find a friend with a scanner.

Why didn't I shoot the other three rolls? Why did I hang onto them for three years, only to throw them out?

Lesson: don't fuck with success.

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Last Week in BBQ, Part II: Uncle Pete's Hickory Ribs, Revere, MA


When Seth gmailed that he had found a few barbecue joints in Revere--an urban "blue collar suburb" and Coney Island/Gravesend analogue that I happen to love--I knew we had to get out there.

Last Saturday, he and I ventured to Mass Hwy 60, Squire Road. On a two-block stretch of this sprawlofare, one can find both The Big Lou (no website) and Uncle Pete's Hickory Ribs. The latter's website announced unexpected entrees of the Thai kind, so we decide to explore this weirdness.

This photoset on Flickr explains the outcome.


Worth checking out are the amazingly well-smoked beef ribs and the surprisingly different, Asianized Buffalo tenders.

Seth and I will be planning a trip to the Big Lou and perhaps a follow-up trip to Uncle Pete's soon.

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Friday, February 02, 2007

Unlikely admission about usefulness of MySpace:

It really can help you track your local music scene and/or unsigned artists worldwide.

SUPPORT LOCAL MUSIC.

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So much for that career in business writing.

The BBC reports that news outlets like Reuters are hiring troops of Indians to read and synthesize American press releases, stock data, and other market info.

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Thursday, February 01, 2007

Is it itme to add a links sidebar to this page?