Tuesday, October 31, 2006

Additionally, see the CP Pub Crawl post below.

Are these people serious?!

Halloween in MA

It's a warm 65 degrees out. Outside, a detail cop wastes his entire day and most of my taxes babysitting an open manhole. Going to see Melvin Sparks tonight for needed inspiration..

Sunday, October 29, 2006

R O C H E S T E R ?

Had to opt out of dinner at Dinosaur BBQ AGAIN. This time, though, it was the annual Hell's Angels party (no regular menu).

Thursday, October 26, 2006

Today, someone warrantlessly pissed me off so much

that I sealed it in its office using a wooden doorstop.

Monday, October 23, 2006


Right now, on the outskirts of Indianapolis. It's 7:42am, and I've gotten the first sign of the sun actually coming up. It's 36 degrees out and I brought no coat. In LA it's 70.

So far this fall: Worcester, Halifax, Dallas, Austin, Atlanta, Newark, Long Island.
Coming soon: LA, Rochester, Salt Lake City, Denver, Edmonton, Vancouver OR Saskatoon, Raleigh-Durham, Minneapolis, and Pittsburgh.

Friday, October 20, 2006


What better way to explore the fiber of the community that created the Bellinger boys than through drinking? Hard work, racism, culturally reinforced ignorance, factories, pizza, violence, salt water, bad bus service, jet fuel odor, football/baseball/hockey, that's what College Point is. You can ask the Wikipedia or you can ask me.

Or you can drink...with us. There is about a 90% chance of this event turning violent, but it wouldn't be the real, blue-collar New York City otherwise. Come explore the core of urban redneck society, a densely populated ecotone of mostly lower/lower middle-class white Bush voters, Puerto Rican flags, and wealthy Asians who just don't assimilate beyond those giant SUVs. It's the real fucking city! The one the folks in Williamsburg simultaneously fear and emulate! The one the world is afraid to admit exists! It's reality! It's beautiful! IT'S HOME.

Or it was once, and it will be again.

Here are the rules:
  • Everyone is welcome.
  • The tour starts at the Bellinger family home, a short walk from the Q65 bus which runs frequently from Main Street Station.
  • No cars, but lots of walking.
  • Digital cameras are a must.
  • We will attempt to remain as nonviolent and exploratory as possible.

Here's the route I'm thinking of. No real weblinks, because these places only exist in reality, oddly enough.

  • Start at Bellinger family home. Walk suburban 9th Ave to the College Point Ale House, a converted house between the now-defunct barber shop where I got my first haircut and the now-Korean-owned Italian deli that still makes the best combo hero in the city.
  • Up the CP Blvd hill past the Poppenhusen Monument to the Point Bar & Grill. Our mother would walk us by here on shopping trips and say, "Look at those filthy drunks!"
  • Up 15th Ave to the Five Corners Restaurant, the only German restaurant left in this formerly German neighborhood. It may already be out of business. I've never eaten there.
  • Continue along 14th Ave to Point Look Out, a bar in a house across from a gas station that advertises sports games and metal bands. Maybe we'll catch a band.
  • Walk toward the abandoned Flushing Airport (who grows up in a urban neighborhood with an abandoned airport?) toward the Boulder Creek chain steakhouse in mega strip mall. Consume shitty 20 oz Beck's Oktoberfest as a respite from Bud and Miller Lite.
  • Explore area of Conrad Poppenhusen's old factories. There's a building that has housed short-lived strip clubs and metal bars. Maybe there's beer there.
  • Long, diagonal trek to a bar that now shows up as "Vam Corp" in the phone book but was once called the Boulevard. This one could be rough.

At this point, the weak will be able to leave via the bus stop outside. The strong will brown-bag 40s or Sparks cans outside of a half-dozen bodegas and battle off the gang youth amassed in front.

Who's in? Post a comment.


Thursday, October 19, 2006

Just not fitting in at all

This morning NPR started its series on 18-25 year old Leaders of the Future (ugh, still fitting into this group). The interviewee spoke of how "our generation" had always been "showered with confidence" so that we believed "we were our own special snowflake" (!!!). Now I know he didn't speak for all of us, but why is what he said being repeatedly applied to this generation? Truthfully, in college, 10 out of 10 kids I met matched that description. I guess I'm just not meeting enough like-minded white trash in my line of living.

Wednesday, October 18, 2006

Want to help destroy America? Become a lawyer*!

ATTLEBORO, Massachusetts (AP) -- Tag, you're out!

Officials at an elementary school south of Boston have banned kids from playing tag, touch football and any other unsupervised chase game during recess for fear they'll get hurt and hold the school liable.

Recess is "a time when accidents can happen," said Willett Elementary School Principal Gaylene Heppe, who approved the ban.

*This is not a personal attack.

NPR and BBC are all over WWIII in the Pacific, but CNN is still in Iraq today.

Tuesday, October 17, 2006

official sentence of the day

"when things suck together, the overall sense of suck is exponentially suckier."

Sunday, October 15, 2006


The guy rules. I even hear he's still alive.

Sunday 12/13/1998 9:39:00am
Name: Ray
Homepage Title:
Homepage URL: http://
Referred By: From a Friend
Location: cp
Comments: Just read a couple of hundred DUMP entries and am beginning to sort out the major and minor characters of this sordid but interesting internet family of sanitation dreamers. The fact that this site exists at all is a tribute to what humans can achieve communicating on various levels...music, humor, gossip, inyourfacerealitychecksabouteverything, sex, antagonisticschoolrelatedwastedtimeclassesthatunprepareyouforlifeinthe21stcenturyrelatedchitchat, and more...keep it up!


From the I.S. guestbook, now linked at right:

Tuesday 12/08/1998 9:22:48am
Name: Erich
Homepage Title:
Homepage URL: http://
Referred By: Just Surfed On In
Comments: For all those who live near or in the Bronx, Deacon Joseph Forte of St. Benedicts Parish has arranged a really nice event on Saturday, Dec 12. It is a 'Teen Mass', designed to get young people to go to church. It starts out at 7PM with Mass. Following the Mass there will be a Teen Social, with 2 live bands and a D.J. Tickets are free and given out at mass. The D.J. and bands will not be playing all religious songs, keep in mind that church can be social as well as religious too, since the beginning it was meant in some ways just to bring people together. The Fourth Day (R.B., Rob Farley, and Joe Forte Jr.) will be playing. The other band is Joe's mostly cover band, they are really good. If you are interested in joining us for mass and hearing us play, for more info e-mail myself & the band at tfd@fullwave.net .

incomplete, rescued from desktop post-it note

Official Massachusetts Officials' Public Denials of Any Knowledge Whatsoever Concerning State Use of Illegal Labor

Since I read so many of these in the Globe, I thought I would start collecting them here on da blog.

7.03.06. On illegal cleaners in State Police Barracks:
State Police spokeswoman Lieutenant Sharon Costine: ``The State Police do not hire these individuals. It was a company that came to us, and we expected that they would ensure that any individual they are hiring is appropriately documented, if needed, and not hiring someone and putting them in our facility when that individual is an illegal immigrant."

6.18.06. On illegal masonry workers building dorms at U. Mass. Dartmouth

``The university concerns itself with getting the job done," said John Hoey , a spokesman for UMass-Dartmouth.

Saturday, October 14, 2006






methods of agriculture
when applied to the human population
present intriguing solutions for
igniting the flammable
amputate our inability
to ]self-referentially
all hope
of reconciliation

1. slash 2. burn
from the fsh days

It's going to be a strange weekend.

It seems that my closest friends have finally given up trying to convince me that I'm alive; now I have to do it myself (?!).

Thursday, October 12, 2006

just got back from yesterday

Wednesday, October 11, 2006

now marooned in queens

commence self-lobotomization

insane travel continues

Friday, October 06, 2006


now on to lenox, then to business in new york, then back here. sleeping at home one night per week. i hope the diarrhea i picked up in austin stops following me around.

Tuesday, October 03, 2006

i want

to shoot myself in the face.

Sunday, October 01, 2006

this week...

  • I go to Dalls, Austin, and Atlanta. WORKWORKWORK. I hope I have time to do something cool.
  • THE RUDDS turned out to be as awesome a band as the local "music press" made them out to be. You should really check this out.
  • Only three people have signed the ancient guestbook at the link below. Just humor me.