Scum of the Earth

To give you an idea of what a time I've had so far looking for a new apartment...I'll just tell you what's happened so far:

1. Meet up with a nice teacher who is looking for a roommate and 2br. Discuss possibility of teaming up and getting a place if other things don't work out.
2. See tiny room in 2br that is too small and taken off the market next day (rented to friend).
3. Apply to tiny, expensive, and ancient studio in which I cannot turn 360° between stove and fridge, later reject offer
4. See awesome basement apt in 4br at the same time as 3 other people, one of whom appears to be a friend of the current roommates. Express interest. Roommates screen possible tenants for an additional week, then send cryptic bulk rejection.
5. Hear from Spanish teacher while in MO. Nothing has worked out for her, either, will I call when I get back? I send her an email to which she never responds. I call her when I get back, as she requested. No answer or callback, yet.
6. Start looking at insanely expensive, brokered 1BRs. Call a guy named Sal. Sal does classic bait/switch on phone, offering something that could be perfect, then sets up potential appt at 8. He says to call at 7:15 to confirm because he's "crazy busy." I wolf down dinner and call at 7:15. No answer, no callback.

Now I'm sitting in the dark in the apartment that I have to move out of in two weeks. Remember, I can't sign a normal 8/1 lease because a) landlord says everything must be gone by 7/31 and b) there is an unnecessary, occupational difficulty that cancels even the most desperate possibility of getting a U-Haul truck on the 31st and leaving my shit in it overnight.

How do my brother and I always find ourselves in these situations? Whenever we could use support, encouragement, or even good luck, it seems that most would prefer to kick us in the face.