Friday, February 16, 2007

Taking a Sh-- an the University of M----

  • Attempt 1. Proceed to poolside bathroom. Three stalls. Two covered in 1" of yellowish fluid. Black male occupies 3rd stall.
  • Attempt 2. Proceed to campus center bathroom. I follow another male through the restroom door. He immediately claims the one stall.
  • Attempt 3. Proceed to Library. Learn that only students with IDs can enter turnstiles.
  • Attempt 4. Return to poolside restroom. Two stalls still covered by piss. Black male still defecating in No. 3.
  • Attempt 5. Return to campus center single-staller. Inside stall, male with black leather shoes is pacing in front of bowl. Male begins tiling over the floor with squares of waxed paper from toilet seat cover box. When male has covered the floor around the toilet with waxed paper, he sits down.
  • Attempt 6. Business school library. Single-staller, occupied.
  • Attempt 7. Take elevator one floor up to suite directly above restroom in Attempt 6. Only offices there. Secretary asks me what I'm doing, and I leave.
  • Attempt 8. Nice bathroom, second floor of b-school. Despite two open urinals and no one else in restroom, male MBA student in suit with no tie is pissing in single stall. When he leaves, bowl is full of piss and seat covered by piss.
  • Attempt 9. Return to b-school library bathroom. Stall is vacant.

Total elapsed search time: 31 minutes.

And then two people desperately tried to enter my stall as I took care of business.


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