PEOPLE FROM NEW HAMPSHIRE ARE THE WORST FUCKING DRIVERS ON THE FACE OF THE EARTH
So now that I've effectively given up driving by refusing to own a car, it would be fitting that I get hit by one.
I was crossing the street--in a crosswalk where I had the walk signal--when I noticed a gray Grand Am making a left turn barreling directly at me. I thought the driver would have noticed and braked, but no. They say that when you're pursued by a predatory animal, you should make yourself appear larger. So I thrust out my arms in one of my confrontational what-the-fuck gestures and the drunk blond bitch in the driver's seat slammed on the brakes. Not soon enough, though. To have the 3,000-pound piece of shit aimed squarely at my legs seemed comical if not potentially fatal. I prepared to jump up on the hood, and got myself up on the right headlight, when the vehicle came to a full stop and I rebounded off to find myself standing in the street right next to the driver. She looked shellshocked and in trouble, said nothing, and sped off.
Fuck you, whoever you are. I should have gotten her plate and had her run out of town. I sure hope she didn't kill anyone else on the way home. I haven't had much luck with cars this year, and the streak continues.
I was crossing the street--in a crosswalk where I had the walk signal--when I noticed a gray Grand Am making a left turn barreling directly at me. I thought the driver would have noticed and braked, but no. They say that when you're pursued by a predatory animal, you should make yourself appear larger. So I thrust out my arms in one of my confrontational what-the-fuck gestures and the drunk blond bitch in the driver's seat slammed on the brakes. Not soon enough, though. To have the 3,000-pound piece of shit aimed squarely at my legs seemed comical if not potentially fatal. I prepared to jump up on the hood, and got myself up on the right headlight, when the vehicle came to a full stop and I rebounded off to find myself standing in the street right next to the driver. She looked shellshocked and in trouble, said nothing, and sped off.
Fuck you, whoever you are. I should have gotten her plate and had her run out of town. I sure hope she didn't kill anyone else on the way home. I haven't had much luck with cars this year, and the streak continues.
posted by Rob at 12:46 PM
1 Comments:
if it wasnt for the potentially fatal collision - that was a GREAT intro for the photo of the norto-car-of-death. seriouslly, art galleries would kill for blurbs like that next to their pieces (pun noticed but not cared about).
Post a Comment
Links to this post:
Create a Link
<< Home