Meanwhile, Back in the States: Money continues to serve as compensation for lost loved ones and stress

About a month ago, a Brooklyn girl was run over by a school bus driven by an 8-year-old classmate who broke into it. Now the family is SUING EVERYONE! Double word score for them, because they're trying to increase their profits by saying their son saw the accident and should be paid off for his emotional distress.

Can I sue my all-boys school for never getting laid before I graduated?