Friday, September 10, 2004

life and times

i moved back here and keep seeing a lot of people for the first time in a year plus. they all say, rob, do you have a girlfriend yet? i will answer creatively in the negative by describing to you some of the experiences i have had over the past year. here is one:


so we only tried dating after the incident, and that was fine: you were purty and had an honors degree from a decent college. after a week you called me sobbing and said that you wanted to marry your ex and then you stopped calling. and then you fucked some kid for two weeks straight, moved home, came back to new york to see me after another two weeks. only you made out with my friend in his bed before you saw me. and then you cried to me about it, and then you went on vacation with your family. while you were on vacation in an unnamed latinamerican country you fucked a fat 31-yr-old who bought you cocaine. then you told me about that too, but at least you paid for dinner. in the meantime you made a weekend jaunt to visit the aforementioned ex at his institution of higher learning and tried to patch things up. somewhere around then you fucked a guy whose name you didn't know at a party at an 'economy' hotel, and someone filmed you but you don't know who. and then you went out with a much older groundskeeper who picked you up at a bar, and you let him molest you in his car. then you chain blew a dude who came back from the service as well as some other male suburban nightmare--in the same room at the same time. while you were telling me about that over dinner you were picked up by an immigrant restaurant worker (while i was taking a piss!). now you have settled down, over the course of the past six days, with one of your co-workers. how do i know this? because you told me. please refrain from telling me any more; i thirst for the opportunity to make something up. also i am trying not to let this discolor my discolored perception of people.


Anonymous Anonymous said...

haha i know her name.

behind me, the pbs special on 9/11.

i've got this great idea:

listen to me next time when i tell you she's a bad idea.

9:15 PM  
Blogger Rob said...

kissy kissy!

9:38 PM  
Blogger D.B. said...

That sucks man. Do you like, have this girl's number?

12:43 AM  
Blogger Allison said...

wow that sounds like me! no, wait, i only do it in five star hotels.

10:49 AM  

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