Guest Author: Christopher Michael Bellinger

Gomez

IUD.SIS.STAY IN SCHOOL.CAUSE IT’S THE BEST.

The mustachioed, three hundred pound gay man in front of me was called Gomez. I didn't catch the names of the makeshift male couples making out against the walls. A framed poster of the naked, sock-cocked Red Hot Chili Peppers came crashing to the floor.

Gomez and I were talking about a chemistry course we'd taken together our freshman year. He licked the beer foam from his lower lip while he adjusted his glasses and listened. I was wearing nothing but black boxers. Gomez covered his man breasts with a white undershirt that barely covered his briefs.

Then, Gomez grabbed my bare nipple. He told me I was obscenely hot. I told him I was flattered. He put his finger to his lip and bit it.

I thought to myself there's something endearing about a ghoulishly effeminate man with no hang-ups. I excused myself and continued dancing suggestively with my housemates.

On the dance floor, hands and fingers ran across my back and over my stomach. A thumb and middle finger combination tried to remove my underwear. The cute Japanese girl from my hall laid her head on my shoulder, but she did that for everyone.

Gomez worked his way back over. 'Chris the Pecs' was his little nickname for me. He tried to make me jealous by saying Scott was huge. Then, he just touched my bare breast again. He apologized and said he just couldn't resist.

At the end of the night, he invited me to a foam party on the 17th. What a sweetheart, I thought. At least he played the game.

I walked home arm-in-arm with my housemates. We sang about women while Drew stayed behind and banged some hot little Indian number.

If only straight women were so normal.